Do you really get me?



Kid 1                /                     Kid 2                  /                   Kid 3

|                                              |                                              |

G-kid* 1a/G-kid 1b          |          G-kid 2a/G-kid 2b          |          G-kid 3a/G-kid 3b

*G-Kid = Grand-kid

Everyone is born in to an immediate family. Parents have kids and they are an immediate family (Mom/Dad — Kid 1, Kid 2 and Kid 3). Eventually those kids grow up and create their own families (Kid 1 — G-kid 1a and G-kid 1b /Kid 2 — G-kid 2a and G-kid 2b…etc). But what if your immediate family isn’t…”conventional”?

My parents (Roy and Lois) were in their parents’ immediate families (Buck/Helen — Roy) (Russell/Norma — Lois) until they got married and started their own immediate family (Roy/Lois — Carrie and Jared). My brother has gotten married and has his own immediate family (Jared/Jennifer — Jonah). Some people think I am without an immediate family of my own but that is not true, my immediate family just isn’t conventional. Instead of marrying and having kids I have found a group of friends that have become my family (Steve, Candice, Julie, Ciera, Tricia, Leeann, Aimee, etc). And just like in a conventional family mine has grown and changed. Steve married Amy, Leeann married Marty, Tricia moved back to Indiana and is getting married soon, etc.

My life is not conventional — and I love it. I am a 32 (almost 33) year old, single, female. Instead of spending my time and efforts to feed/cloth/house a spouse and kids, my efforts go towards: 1) spending time with MY immediate family (the friends who know me/get me/love me like a sister) and my Grandpa whom I live with and take care of, 2) taking care of myself (if I can ever find out what that looks like), and 3) filling my time with other purposes like ministries in my church.

Though it may look like I am spreading myself too thin with all that I do, I am really fulfilling my purposes – even as unconventional as they may be. No one would question a mother driving here there and everywhere to support her kids’ goals. No one would question a man working as much overtime as he could to provide for his family. I’m not doing anything different. I drive here there and everywhere to spend time with and support my family. I spend a lot of time doing ministry stuff in church to provide for those I am called to care for/teach/lead.

Can a conventional person – someone who has a conventional family and responsibilities – really offer advice about where I am in life if they’ve taken the road traveled by the majority and have no familiarity with the road I’m on…especially if they think that I am not on a road at all?


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