I am not built for this

I am a writer…at least I want to be. Sometimes that means holding myself up in my office with no distractions.
No internet
No phone
No music sometimes (hardest one of all to give up)
I am not built for the solitude that a writer needs to have sometimes. I am too social. Loneliness weighs heavy on me. When I am alone my brain won’t stop. It travels a mile a minute when it isn’t being entertained by TV or people or any of the many other distractions that shut it off. The trouble is…if I could focus my brain I could channel all that speed and energy to actually accomplish something productive but I don’t know how to do that. I just want to slow it down. All the injustices of the world. The friends that don’t return text messages. The troubles I face. The troubles I’ve faced. All won’t let my brain rest. I need something to help me focus. Most of the time music helps me do that but sometimes it is even a distraction. Focus has never been my strength. My sis-in-law has said for years that I have ADD. I have never been officially diagnosed but I am sure the symptoms are all there and have been since early childhood. I write short stories because all the major projects are too much for my brain to handle at any given moment. I can blog short snippets for the same reason. Maybe I am just a dreamer and not actually a writer.


One thought on “I am not built for this

  1. # 1 dont believe all what people tell you.

    # 2 the distraction you desire is the outdoors away from the what you think you had rather be distraced by.
    # 3 pfft…. what do i know 😉

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