I am not built for this

I am a writer…at least I want to be. Sometimes that means holding myself up in my office with no distractions.
No internet
No TV
No phone
No music sometimes (hardest one of all to give up)
I am not built for the solitude that a writer needs to have sometimes. I am too social. Loneliness weighs heavy on me. When I am alone my brain won’t stop. It travels a mile a minute when it isn’t being entertained by TV or people or any of the many other distractions that shut it off. The trouble is…if I could focus my brain I could channel all that speed and energy to actually accomplish something productive but I don’t know how to do that. I just want to slow it down. All the injustices of the world. The friends that don’t return text messages. The troubles I face. The troubles I’ve faced. All won’t let my brain rest. I need something to help me focus. Most of the time music helps me do that but sometimes it is even a distraction. Focus has never been my strength. My sis-in-law has said for years that I have ADD. I have never been officially diagnosed but I am sure the symptoms are all there and have been since early childhood. I write short stories because all the major projects are too much for my brain to handle at any given moment. I can blog short snippets for the same reason. Maybe I am just a dreamer and not actually a writer.

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One thought on “I am not built for this

  1. # 1 dont believe all what people tell you.

    # 2 the distraction you desire is the outdoors away from the what you think you had rather be distraced by.
    # 3 pfft…. what do i know 😉

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