Single women in the Evangelical Church (In response to my own article)

Do single women have a place in the Evangelical Church –

Above is the link to an article I wrote. Obviously the article is filled with my personal experience without stating that it is filled with my personal experience. Here in my blog I can express more personal turmoil on the subject.

I just don’t understand this obsession with getting every woman married off. Women’s conferences talk about being a good wife and mother. Singles’ conferences for women spout being Ruth and waiting for your Boaz. Sure, if God has a good man out there for me I am not going to complain but what if God’s plan for my life is to be single? Is it fair that I am made to feel like that is wrong somehow? Is it fair that the community of believers to which I belong sees me as unfinished, incomplete, and worthy of pity?

In my church there is a young adult ministry but over the years it has attracted people with similar interests and life situations…young marrieds with kids. That seems to work for them but single people don’t always fit in situations and discussions in their like-minded gatherings. It’s no one’s fault that we (the young and not so young single people) don’t really fit in, although we feel like we are looked at as if it is our fault for not conforming to the “norm”. I adore the young adult pastor and his wife and they have done their best to make us feel welcome but at some point we need to say a square peg doesn’t fit into a round hole so why keep trying?

We are looked at as if we have a third arm growing out of our foreheads. No one knows what to do with us. I would just like it if someone could see me as a complete person even though I am single. I would like people to actually believe and encourage me that there is a purpose for my life even if I never marry. I would just like it if marriage wasn’t always spouted as the end goal.

My life can be complete and filled with purpose and meaning as a single gal. I believe it because I believe that God loves me enough to make sure of it. I just wish everyone else could believe that too.


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