Spinster on the Block

It turns out my Halloween costume tonight was pretty funny. It was completely unintentional but still hilarious. I sat on my front porch in my black pea coat, red scarf and red knitted toboggan. I had a red chenille blanket wrapped around my legs because it was cold and I was wearing my reading glasses and had my copy of “Wuthering Heights” at the ready for when there was a lull in the procession of costume clad pre-adults. As I was sitting there I realized that my costume was as the spinster on the block and for once I was ok with that. There was a time in my life when that realization would have sent me spiralling down face first into the bucket of candy, clamoring for every piece of chocolate I could get my teeth into, leaving nothing for the ninja turtles or princesses. But tonight that realization actually gave me a warm feeling. That warm feeling was the comfort I now have about who I am. I am ok being the spinster because I actually like me that way. Back when depression followed such a realization, the sadness came not because I didn’t like being single but because I worried that others felt sorry for me for being single. As anyone who truly knows me can attest, there was a time when the thoughts of others was the only driving force behind my actions and words. But now I am coming to terms with who I am and I actually like my situation. I like being single and even though that is a foreign and often misunderstood concept to many of those around me, and even though the threat of my eternal spinster-hood scares the bejesus out of my family, I will continue to like me…even if they don’t.

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