(See previous post, “A Million Boulders in a Pond”, first.)
I had a talk with the boulder thrower. I told him that I know we banter back and forth and it’s all in good fun but right now I am in a slump. I don’t know why but I am. I told him that I was angry at him after the last time and that I hated being angry at him. I asked seriously if we could dial down on the boulders for a while, at least until my slump is over. He was very understanding about it. He really is a good guy, and I have fun, even in the banter—especially in the banter. But I’m in a place now where I’m taking everything too seriously.
I know (Intellectually) that it’s all in good fun. But I’m feeling (Emotionally) vulnerable to what’s going on around me. Unfortunately I am more “E” (emotion) than “I” (intellect) right now. The “I” should be stronger but the “E” is winning. The boulder thrower understood and I think we had a good night. I wish I knew what he was thinking. Did I sound as stupid to him saying the words as I did to myself? That, I’m afraid, I will never know.