Who I Was Wasn’t Me

I ran into a girl today who is married to a man I used to go to high school with. After college, we dated some but I’d rather not really remember that part. Not because he was particularly hard to date but because I was not in a good place then. Five-year-guy and I had just broken up and running into this charming man I used to know was probably not a good thing. He probably remembers me from that time as being a little nuts. I wasn’t healed from the pain of the break-up and I was very vulnerable. And, even though this guy from school was fun to hang out with and a good friend, I was not in a place to trully appreciate the reconnection for what it was. I wanted it to be more than it was. I was so desperate to be loved by somebody that I was willing to say it to anybody even though it wasn’t true. Now this guy that I was friends with in high school has the most recent memories of me as a crazy girl who probably has mental problems. What a shame that he had to know me when I wasn’t myself. We could have still been good friends.

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