“I’m strong on the surface,
not all the way through.
I’ve never been perfect,
but neither have you.”
– “Leave Out All The Rest” by Linkin Park
I am strong on the surface. I like being strong and independent and free but, if I had to be honest with myself I would have to say that there are probably some wobbly bits underneath that need guarded. The bits that are easily bruised. The parts that could be damaged no matter how much I say that they are hard as stone. I don’t like having to be truthful about my shortcomings. But then again, who does? Yes, vulnerability is a shortcoming. No matter how you sugarcoat it as “being real” or “being honest”, vulnerability is a flaw. At least it is to me when I think about how I am supposed to appear to everyone else. It’s a family trait I think. Vulnerability will not be tolerated. You work, you work hard, you show no weakness, you need no one. No matter how unhealthy or untrue I think that all might be, there is no other road to take. There is no other avenue of self expression. Strength, or at least the appearance of strength, is the only avenue. “Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.” That was the phrase. That’s the key to survival.