(See the previous post, “I’m Still Working Through ‘Thirdly'”, first.)
Thirdly, love is irrational. I spent five years with a man who was horrible for me and to me. But, in the midst of the relationship I couldn’t do anything about it. I was blind to anything even remotely resembling rational thinking. I can’t go back to that irrational state again. I must always keep my wits about me. It’s dangerous for me to lose my bearings. It’s better for me to be in-love with the idea of being in-love and with the daydreams that come from that than to have an actual person in front of me to give my heart to. I’m not strong enough to go weak again and pull through it when it all comes crashing down. To ask another person to understand that is utterly impossible.