My Chance to Love Out Loud

I love in secret. I can’t say a word. What good are words? They only confuse. My thoughts are my own; twisted and contorted in my mind to entertain and amuse my lonely heart. They are daydreams that will never come true. When will it be my chance to love out loud again? I know why it’s been out of my reach. Why would God bless me with something beautiful knowing that my bitterness and thick, emotional walls would hurt someone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt? Even if I want to love out loud, am I ready to? I would think that acknowledging the road block would be good growth. But, is it enough good growth? Is the love in my heart that is bursting to get out strong enough to tear down the walls in my mind that’s blocking the way? In the middle of a very trying conversation with God I told Him that I won’t second guess love when it comes to me again. I won’t hurt the wonderful man he has for me. I will be the girl that I used to be that delighted in love. Needtobreathe has a song called Looks Like Love that says it better than I can.
I won’t run when it looks like love / I won’t hide beneath the fear of how the past has come undone / I won’t run when it looks like love / I can’t spend another night alone regretting what I’ve done / so I won’t run.
I want another chance at love. To be someones someone. To walk proudly beside the man I admire who loves me. When will it be my chance to love out loud?

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